This One Day at University

The One

No, I haven’t found him. I did get a question about “The One” though. And it got me thinking, I don’t know what it would feel like to meet “The One”. Does it feel like angels are kissing you? or does it feel like you’re on fire? Are fireworks supposed to blow up behind your eyes? Are you supposed to get goosebumps? Do you want to throw up every time you see them because you have so many butterflies? Are there supposed to be butterflies?!

So, I’m asking you. If you have met “The One”, how did you know? How did you know (or how do you think you’ll know) what meeting “The One” felt like?

Anonymous asked: If you had already met "the one", what would be the youngest age at which you could see yourself getting married?

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said right freaking now but since you asked me today, I’d have to say not until I was 25 at the very least, given that I was good and ready. Which just goes to show you how much growing a person does in a year. 

I learned that between the ages of 18 and 25, you learn so much. About everything. About school, life, yourself, what you want, where you want to go, how you deal with situations, or what situations you find yourself in. Things change so rapidly and while I’m always going to be a marrying woman, I can honestly say that I don’t want to settle down too quickly. 

I’m ambitious. Always have been, always will be. I’m ambitious in the most subtle way. While I would like world domination (figuratively speaking), I know that my family, love and all those who are important to me come first. And yet, ultimately, the person who comes before all of that is myself. 

I don’t even know what “The One” looks like. Or even what it feels like. Do fireworks magically blow up behind my eyes? Am I supposed to feel like I’m on fire? Should my senses just KNOW that this person is the one I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with? I don’t think anyone really knows right off the bat that this person is The One.

—jessica

Alaska

Hello Lovelies!

I apologize for not updating in a week but I was off in the land of glaciers and whales -otherwise known as Alaska- on a beautiful cruise.

For those of you who live in Alaska, let me tell you that you are some lucky SOBs. We went to Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway and each port was rich in history, adventure and some amazing views. If you’ve never seen a glacier calve before in person, it is something I would recommend you experience. Your senses are put into overdrive as you watch this glacier calve. First you hear it. It sounds like thunder, the ice is cracking and you don’t know which part is going to fall until you see it. When you see it, don’t blink, you might just miss the entire thing. I would know, it happened to me. 

Not only does Alaska boast some of the most beautiful glaciers, it also has a plethora of wildlife. During my trip, I experienced up close bald eagles, king salmon, a musk ox, a bear, some reindeer, caribou and bison and even a whale. Those eagles are seriously so breathtaking. They are as majestic as everyone says they are and they are magnificent. 

Let’s not forget that Alaska is the salmon capital of the world, and ladies and gentleman, they do not disappoint. Alaskan salmon tastes amazing. It doesn’t matter how it’s processed or made, it still tastes awesome. My personal favorite is sockeye smoked salmon. Wow. It melts in your mouth and you don’t really know what hit you but it tastes so good. 

This trip was absolutely amazing. I’ll upload pictures soon so that you can see exactly what I’m talking about and for you Alaskans, just walk out onto your back porch. 

—jessica

risk-the-falll asked: so theres thIs boy and I really lIke hIm. he hangs out wIth me everyday at lunch and lets me keep hIs hat for a long tIme. and all of my frIends thInk he lIkes me. how do I tell hIm or fIgure out If he lIkes me?

My darling lady,

For starters, this is exciting isn’t it? You’ll know he likes you when he goes out of his way to talk to you or makes the effort to spend time with you. When he becomes considerate and interested in you and the things that you have to say. 

Before I asked 25 out for coffee, I gauged whether or not he liked me. I was pretty confident that he did like me mostly because when I would walk in, he would make the effort to come and talk to me. He once dropped what he was doing and crossed the room just to chat with me for 5 minutes. That’s dedication. 

Telling him will be the easy part. I know that that seems like the craziest thing you’ve heard but, like you’re username says, risk the fall. Life is too short for you to sit reserved in the back of the room always asking what if. So, find the easiest way for you to tell him. I would avoid email and text messaging. Make it more personal, like a note or a phone call or a coffee date. You’re putting yourself out there but with every moment that you do, your confidence will grow. I can assure you it will. Plus, guys like it when a woman takes charge. It shows self-confidence and it shows that they have balls. So, time to hike those big girl panties up and show him what you got. 

Remember, nobody can ever dull your sparkle or blow out your spark unless you let them. You own your actions, so live your life they way you want to.

Best of luck with this! Please, let me know how it goes! And if you need additional pointers or tips, give me a shout :)

—jessica

Anonymous asked: Why do you always refer back to WM?

I get asked this question a lot and honestly, I ask myself this question a lot too. 

Is it because I’m STILL not over him? Is it because I’m secretly hanging on to what was? Is it because that I’m having a hard time letting go? 

Maybe a couple months ago, that was all true. Maybe I was having a hard time letting go, and I secretly still loved him even though I denied it at every turn.

My excuse? And the most valid one right now, is that he was my first boyfriend. You compare it to everything. I don’t really have much to compare my new boys to anything except with old boys. If you’ve only had one serious old boy, you don’t really have much choice. I know, that’s probably the lamest excuse in the book but that’s honestly why I bring him up so much. 

—jessica

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

Slipping Through My Fingers

I’ve always been told in my lifetime that I’m far more mature than I look. I look like I’m 14 but I act like I’m 26. It may not seem like it sometimes, but most of my life has been spent trying to figure out why some of my peers do the things they do. It genuinely makes no sense to me sometimes.

This is an update on the boy. I haven’t come up with a creative nickname for him, so we’ll call him 25 for now. 

Here’s the update: 25 and I are no longer seeing each other. 

This happened a week ago. Usually I’m on here right away telling you my life story, but this time instead of being the person who was doing the ending, I was on the receiving end of it and boy, was it a lot harder this time around. I had to actually collect my thoughts and let my emotions run free for a little bit. I allowed myself to just let things sink in and for me to feel every feeling that was coursing through me. I was hurt, angry, confused, disappointed and frustrated. I was a myriad of emotions that I didn’t even know how to deal with and all I could do (because all of my emotions are connected to my tear ducts) was cry. 

So, before we get into the nitty gritty, please just keep in mind that 25 is still an awesome person. That he’s still really, really cool and unique in his own way, but that he just wasn’t right for me. Or rather, I wasn’t right for him. And that’s okay. I can’t be right for every guy that comes along. If I was, I would have settled down with WM already.

I’m going to wittle down the story to the bare minimum. Someone who I sought advice from once told me that break-ups are just as intimate as relationships. No one else should know what went on. I agree. So, here we go.

25 came back from his vacation and I saw him the next day. We spent 12 wonderful hours together and in that time, he kissed me, asked me to be his girlfriend, gifted me a pair of earrings (that are absolutely beautiful might I add) and introduced me to some of his greatest friends. It was a magical day to say the least. I enjoyed every single second and I couldn’t have been happier. 

My parents are Asian. They are overprotective, helicopter, hovering parents who make me check in every so often and voice their concerns extremely openly (just not always in the most constructive of ways). So, when I got home (considering that I had been gone for 12 hours and this was considered our 3 date), I got a lecture from my parents. They reaction while having valid points and totally deserved, was a little over the top (but that’s another tale for another time). 

I’m a pretty honest and open person. I don’t like to beat around the bush, or play mind-games, or play hard to get. I hate trying to seduce someone. I’ve never been good at it and I always end up looking super ridiculous. I decided early on in my teenage years that the best way to approach any relationship (friendship or intimate) was to lay out on the table exactly who I was and the way I lived my life. I hated making friends and getting along with someone, only to find out months down the road that they didn’t like that my parents wouldn’t let me do much, or that I had curfew or that I wasn’t interested in drinking. I learned that the easiest way to find friends who would stick it out with you, was to find friends who understood and accepted the way I lived my life. Essentially, they accepted me for exactly who I was and nothing less than that. 

Which is why with 25, I laid out exactly what my parents’ fears and concerns were and their expectations. They were concerns that he had, that I had, that my friends had and they were understandable. Needless to say, he got a little spooked. (Remember, he’s 25. He hasn’t had to answer to his mother in years. Nor does he have to check in, nor does he have weekend chores or things. He does what he wants, when he wants to do it). So, last Wednesday, I got an email (yes, an email. You read that right. No, this is not 1995. It’s 2013, and yes, he broke up with me over an email) telling me that he didn’t think we should see each other anymore. He had his reasons (one of them being my parents’ overprotective nature) and I understood them. 

I wasn’t delivering what he needed or wanted out of a relationship. Best that he learned that early on and severed ties now before we got further down the road and we both got too attached. 

So, yes. I was upset. I was at home with my mom and my brother and I couldn’t even stay in my house. I walked around my neighbourhood getting my ugly cry on. Now, you may think that’s pathetic but to be honest, I was so so so ready to fall in love with him. I have a very long list of things that I want in a man and he almost fit the bill. Or at least, I thought he did. I was hurt because I was ready to work out our differences, to work out whatever needed to be worked out but I guess he just didn’t see the worth in that.

This email had the subtle hints of “it’s not you, it’s me”. God, I hate that line. Trust me, when they say that line it is most definitely YOU. Which caused me more hurt than I thought it would. He told me in his email that I was an intelligent, beautiful passionate woman. That I was more than what I thought of myself. Yet, he didn’t want to date me but he wanted to see if it could work in a few years. I was confused and frustrated. The two states I hate being the most. (Just a couple of days ago, he did end up telling me that he wanted to be friends. To my astonishment). 

Hurting isn’t a foreign feeling to me. I welcome it, because it means that a little part of me is learning and growing through that hurt and you get stronger and you get more confident. Yet, I hurt so much through this one. More so than with WM. Had I fell in love with 25, I think I would have been shattered. I’m still internally analyzing why I feel like this. 

So for every single girl out there where you thought something was going to work out and then it took a 360 degree turn and you got twisted around, I know how that feels and man oh man, it sucks and hurts so bad but you have to just keep swimming. 

One of you readers told me this once and I’ve never forgotten it: Don’t let anybody dull your sparkle. You never know who’s watching you shine and twinkle. 

—jessica

Anonymous asked: no update about the new boy???

Oh, there’s an update. I’ll update you guys right now. 

—jessica

Running

I thought when someone first suggested running to me, that I would have to be all hardcore about it and start running like 5 kilometers a day and that I would have to be super toned and I would have to get running shoes.

And, that I would actually have to enjoy running. 

So when I started running outside for the first time, I absolutely hated it. It was the worst thing someone could have encouraged me to do. I didn’t like that I was out of breathe or that I couldn’t breathe or that the wind was in me eyes or that it was cold out. I persevered though and got up the next day and did it all over again. I ran at my own pace and walked when I felt I needed a rest. 

Everyone says that you have to focus on something when you’re running. Whether it’s your breath, your music or the trees, you have to focus on something so you don’t feel like you’re running. I focus on my shadow. Weird right? The other day, as I was running the sun was shining and I noticed in my shadow that my ponytail would swing back and forth every time I would run. So lately, I focus on the rhythmic feel of my ponytail swishing back and forth. Guess what? IT WORKS!

A week of running/walking every morning for 15 minutes has really paid off. I’ve noticed that my appetite is different, my skin a little clearer and I sleep relatively better at night. My entire health has gotten better. Each day I run I can run further and walk less which is what I’m aiming for. 

I guess this month, I’m turning over a new leaf and heading into my twenties on a good note. 

—jessica

The End of the World

In all my lifetime, I never thought I would find that one best friend who would help me through anything. I thought that I would have to spend my entire life moving through it being my own best friend. 

Little did I know that my wish would be granted this year and I would be thrust into the arms of this wonderful girl. You all know her as 1DG. She has been there for the past year more than anyone in my entire life has been.

She calls me out on my bullshit and she gives great advice and in turn I do the same.

Last night we hung out at this place that I like to affectionately call The End of The World. It’s got this absolutely beautiful view and it’s so quiet and secluded. It’s a really great thinking spot on a hot summer’s day. We took some coolers with us and just talked for ages. We laughed and sighed and smiled and laughed some more (I’m forever laughing with this lady. She literally brightens up my day). 

Not only is she one of my absolute best friends, but she’s also my co-president and something close to my older sister. She’s so wise and so put together. I admire her every move and I try to act in a similar fashion. She is an inspiration and I’ve never in my life been so grateful to be friends with her.

Funny story: Yesterday, as we were sitting on the cliff and staring out into the air, we saw this group of boys light some fireworks. The first one they threw and it made that noise when something drops in cartoons as it fell. The second one the threw it short and despite the fact that it hit the ground, it still made that sound until the fire fizzled out. We laughed really hard at that. The third one though is probably the gem. The guy lit the firework, held the damn thing until it basically burned him and then threw it right in front of him. We laughed incredibly hard at that one. 

Long story short, I have the coolest lady in the universe as one of my really good friends and I couldn’t be more grateful.

—jessica