Taking Risks
Hi All,
I know I haven’t updated in forever, but I am determined to get going and write a bunch of posts tonight so that you have something to look forward to. So first post of the evening is: TAKING RISKS.
I recently took a huge risk when it came to my love life. I’ve been single for about 10 months now. That’s really not that long if you ask me. I was single before WM for 18 years, so 10 months is next to nothing.
That all changed about 10 days ago. I took a risk and asked a boy out. Isn’t that risky? Isn’t that absolutely nuts? I guess I’ve never been that girl who has sat idly by and waited for a man to dictate my future or how I live my life so it’s not very surprising that I took life by the reigns and asked a guy out. It was bold and ballsy and I’m so incredibly confident about it too.
If someone had said to me 3 years ago that I was going to be asking a guy out, I would have scoffed at them and told them that I was way too self-conscious to do anything even remotely close to that, and yet, I’m about 3 months away from my 20th birthday and I’m asking a guy out! Isn’t that amazing? Oh how one changes in a matter of years.
So if you’re thinking of asking that guy out, or that girl out, please try. You never know what can happen or what will come of it.
You could be like me and seeing a really great individual who you just click with. It’s been a whirlwind of two weeks that’s for sure.
Would you ever ask the guy/girl you’re crushing on out?
Spoons in My Pocket on a Monday Morning
Morning Everyone, right now it’s 8:10 where I am and it’s actually quite the beautiful day. It’s a little rainy for November (this global warming and climate change stuff is fucking with the weather. You just can’t figure out what it’s going to be. One day it’ll be cold, the next day it’ll be warm. I can’t keep up.)
So because of the rain I am wearing these boots: 
I absolutely adore the boots, simply because they’re chevrons and they’re fun and funky. I got them in the States at Target if anyone cares to know.
Allow me to update you on what I did this weekend, because it was full of fun and laughter.
Friday night I worked and as I was leaving my work place one of my male colleagues (who is also Asian) asked me if I wanted to hang out with fellow Asian people and go to a bar that night. (As I’m saying that I’m busy, his face falls and he looks pretty sad. I think he’s interested in me, but we’re going to wait and see what happens.) Now, I already had plans with 1DB seeing as we’re both on the same committee and we’re pretty good friends. So after our meeting, we had planned to meet up with 1DB’s friend S and a couple of her friends. S is super awesome and I really enjoy her company. She’s hilarious.
Anyways, so what did we end up doing? We end up playing our own version of Bigger and Better. The movie that we were going to see was called The Room and if any of you have seen it, you know that it’s possibly the most terrible movie on the planet Earth. It is actually the worst movie I have ever seen, but that’s what makes it great. We heard through the grapevine that you needed spoons to see this movie. Why? I can’t tell you right now, I’m getting to it. So we have about 5 plastic spoons and apparently, we needed metal ones. Well, where are you going to find 6 metal spoons at 9 pm on a Friday without spending any money whatsoever. Simple, you go door to door asking if you can trade a plastic spoon for a metal spoon. Interestingly enough, we DID get 6 metal spoons.
Which is why I now have 2 spoons in my jacket pocket.
It was a grand time. Eventually it was movie time, so we walk to the movie theater and quietly anticipate this movie. Here I am thinking that this movie is going to be so horrible, that no one shows up. LIES. The theater is packed and EVERYONE has spoons. I’m not talking like 5 spoons, I’m talking BOXES of spoons. Up to 500 spoons per person. Those big ass boxes you get from Costco? Yup, those ones. There were THOUSANDS of spoons in this theater. And they were all meant to be thrown at the screen.
The gist of this movie? An hour and a half of bad acting, 5 uncensored sex scenes with the cheesiest music that lasts for 5-10 minutes EACH, the worst plot line known to man and a movie with a director and producer who also STARRED in this movie. Seriously. All through that? The entire theater (who all have clearly seen this movie multiple times) was commenting at every turn. They would yell things like “BUT HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND” and “CAUSE YOU’RE A WOMAN” and every so often, they would throw spoons like it was confetti at the screen. SPOONS!
So after the movie was over, I text my colleague (because my other male colleague so happily brings to my attention that I just shut him down. I felt so bad and I actually LIKE this guy.) and ask where he is. He says he’s at this late night pizza place. It’s pretty sketchy in my opinion but 1DB and I go for an hour or so. Basically we hang out for a bit, 1DB says that he’s interested. I’m mildly interested to see what happens. I’m still trying to decipher the messages.
The rest of my weekend was spent studying and trying to NOT roll my eyes at MM and his gaggle of friends. Their logic seriously astounds me.
OH. I forgot a very important part of my Friday. LITTLE THINGS by One Direction came out. I melted. Then some of their songs got leaked. I melted. Then 25 second snippets got leaked. My ovaries exploded. And then Liam did a twitcam. I labeled a bucket “FEELS AND DROOL”.
That is all.
Have a good Monday morning, loves!
—jessica
This Just In:
That date with SV? So not a date. We should all really just listen to K (Zoe’s best friend and my really really good friend) when she says that coffee dates don’t mean anything. Unless the parameters of the coffee date basically slap you in the face with the word “date”.
3 things I learned about SV:
- He was drunk that night at the bar. I didn’t know this. I felt like a fool after this sentence was said but I did not regret it. Props to me for stepping outside of my comfort zone and taking a risk.
- He wants to be a social worker/counselor. I may have died a little.
- We are probably never ever going to date, like ever.
Basically, we chatted about different things. Relationships, the no-zero policy, school, what university is really like, what we were like in high school, what we planned on doing after post-secondary and his band(s).
Did I mention he has man-hands? Yeah, musician man-hands. I’ve always known this though. So very calloused and so very large. Mmm. Man-hands.
—jessica
Anonymous asked: What do you guys think is the etiquette on texting/calling after a one night stand? Never had one before, haha, and I'm a little lost on what to do. He gave me his number, but didn't get mine. He was really nice the whole time, staying for a while in the morning just talking. I feel like we could be good friends, or more, but idk what to say now that it's been a few days. Any advice?
Lady,
GUURRLLL, HE GAVE YOU HIS NUMBER? Well hells bells, you are definitely ahead of most people who have one night stands. Bonus that he stuck around to chat in the morning. One night stands can be awkward but hey, he gave you his number, he stuck around to chat and he was nice. Sounds like a decent guy. Why not call him up and ask him out for coffee?
Here’s what you say: “Hey, I know we’ve met before but there wasn’t much talking going on during that last meeting, if you’re up for it I’d really like to get to know you better so maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime, my treat?” and go from there. Play it cool, don’t be vulgar, stay classy and get excited when he says “sure”. He was obviously physically attracted to you, now is the time to show that beautiful personality I know you have! So go gain a new friend or more if that’s what you’re looking for!
As for general etiquette, I think it really depends on what the situation is. If it’s like yours where you get a good response from the guy the next day, then I say go for it but if he’s the “i’m-sneaking-out-at-3-in-the-morning” type guy, I say don’t. Clearly he doesn’t want an overdrawn conversation in the morning and is trying to avoid the awkwardness. And if you KNOW you just made the biggest mistake of your life because he’s your best friends brother, perhaps wait it out a couple days until you figure things out and then call him up to discuss what happened and do some “damage” control. Just make a good judgement call and watch the ball roll.
Good luck sweetling!
—jessica and zoe
Holy Smokes, Has It Been That Long?
Hello lovely readers!
First off, I just wanted to say to all of you people who have been reading our blog, thank you so much for taking some time out of your day and reading what would otherwise be my thoughts in my head! It means so much to me that you have hearted posts, followed us or reblogged! You are all really awesome :) and don’t doubt it for a second.
Updates, updates, updates! Finals are creeping up on Zoe and I far too quickly in our opinion. Zoe made a “to-do” list yesterday and it was two pages long. To say the least, we are incredibly busy and we apologize heavily for the lack of action on this blog. We’ve had social life things and school things and getting on Tumblr isn’t high on our totem pole. But, I aim to please so here I am.
I’m kind of surprised at the lack of questions on here. I was hoping to answer some really interesting ones, but nevertheless we will continue blogging like normal.
Let’s start with something simple! The weather, is uninviting and cold. Scarves, hats, mitts, toques, boots, all of that winter gear has been pulled out for this season and to be honest, I’m really not enjoying it. It’s too much bulk to carry around and it’s way too much to put on and off and on and off during classes. It keeps me warm though so I can only complain to an extent. I got new boots over the weekend and they are fantabulous. No, they are not Uggs. In fact they are Flurries. They styled similarly to Uggs but are made for a Canadian winter rather than an Australian one. They’re supposed to keep me warm in -35 degree weather but that has yet to be challenged. Of course as I got these boots, the weather warmed up and we are now closer to 0 than we have been in days! Just my luck!
I now have a boy in my life, yay! Taking it slow though, real slow. Like sloth on sedatives slow. While neither of us are particularly experienced in the relationship department, through my expertise and excessive reading of romantic novels I have a couple things that I know that he doesn’t. Talking to the parents about it was a toughie though. It took a lot of will power and explanation but they didn’t freak out too badly. In fact, my mom didn’t cry this time! Impressive!
I haven’t been eating a lot on the last 3 days. I have this awful habit when I’m nervous. My stomach apparently does not agree with me and my gag reflex is in overdrive. So every time I’m nervous I end up feeling like gagging, butterflies in my tummy but not fluttering, more like trying to escape. Soooo yeah. I really should eat food. And it’s not like I’m not trying, it’s more like I eat two bites, I feel like gagging and then I put it away because I lost my appetite. I’m 100 pounds if I lose anymore weight, I’m in serious trouble.
That’s all for now my dears! Have an excellent day! Keep smiling, it takes more muscles to frown than it takes to smile :)
—jessica
From Me to You
Hello again everyone! I read Zoe’s post (isn’t she just hilarious? You like her right? Good. Because I like her too. She has a lovely writing style don’t you think? Refreshing no?) and I realized that she had done something that I hadn’t! She told you about herself. So here I am, about to tell you about myself. It won’t be anything special or spectacular but I can tell you it will be mighty laughable.
For a person with almost as much relationship experience as a (regular, normal) cat enjoys time in water, I seem to have a lot of good advice about many things. And I won’t beat around the bush. In other words, if you look at me and say
“Jessica, I really like this guy but I don’t know how to tell him”
I’ll probably say something along the lines of
“Well honey, you gotta just pull on them big girl (or boy) underwear, throw caution to the wind, march on over there and tell it to him straight. And don’t stutter. Because he’ll think you’re a fool.”
You might stand there slightly shocked that I told you that you might look like a fool, but let’s face it. You will. Everyone does. And everyone tries so hard to not look like a fool, that the end up looking like one anyways. So just, forget about it.
Anyways, while I do not have a whole slew of complexes and interesting SBF experiences like Zoe has, I do have some really radical experiences. Not many, but enough for me to hate life every now and then like everyone else.
So for future reference you might want to jot down that while at this day and age, I am a more confident and positive person, I wasn’t. Self-esteem issues were a really big concern for me and being oddly empathetic was another. So if at any point in time you have a problem where your day just doesn’t have that bright sunshine you’re looking for, feel free to shoot me a message or question. I would be glad to help.
Being oddly empathetic has it’s ups and downs. Most of the time, it’s a downfall. You’re too caring, too heartfelt. You’re a doormat and have very little self-preservation. Sometimes, it’s a blessing. You understand both sides of the situation and you can help others through some very interesting circumstances. So if there is that one thing in the world you need most right now, which is a friend, I’m your girl. I’ve also been told I’m wise beyond my years. Which makes no sense, because I make dirty jokes left, right and center.
For all of you boys out there who have absolutely no clue as to what in the heck that girl you have in your life is thinking, doing or saying. Or you just need some really great girl advice about what to get your boo for V-Day. I’m also your girl. I’m skilled enough that with my ideas and romanticism, I managed to help one of my buddies get laid. So, yes, hats off to me.
Family issues? Zoe and I got that down pat.
Also, if you’re having trouble with people who have problems with you NOT conforming, I’m your gal. I’m a non-drinker, non-smoker of anything and I rarely go out to clubs or bars. In fact I turned 18 in the summer and have yet to leave my house for a club/bar/pub. I’m abstaining a little bit. So! I’m your girl for those times when you really don’t wanna go out and your friends say that you’re the prude of the group. I’ve been a prude my entire life, welcome to the wonderful world of me :)
With that said, let’s start with the process of self-esteem. No, you’re not guaranteed to like yourself all day everyday. And if you do, you’re weird. Another thing to keep in mind: think of weirdness as intelligence or importance. Who has the right to tell you that you are unimportant or important? Only you do. No one on this planet has the right to tell you that you are worth anything less than what you think of yourself as. They of course could tell you that you’re extremely important, which is always a good thing. But don’t believe those people who tell you you are unimportant. Because at the end of the day….they be trippin’. For reals, yo. Good, you smiled. Or made a face. Or probably thought “damn this chick is off her rocker, she smacked her head REAL hard or university has officially made her crazy.” I’ll go with D) all of the above. Actually I did see a sign that said “SMACK HEAD HERE”. I was tempted to do it. But then I realized it was attached to a giant metal sign and the pole was directly down the middle. I thought against it after that. Back to the topic at hand, self-esteem takes a long time to build up. It’s like trust. You take years and years to like yourself, and it takes a millisecond for all of that to come crashing down around you.
I live by the saying “why fix something that isn’t broken?”. So don’t find things to fix. Constructive criticism is helpful, wbut destructive criticism is not. So if you want someone to fix something, start with something positive and then slowly transition into negatives. Such as “Hey Steve, I really like that you care a lot but I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little clingy lately. Do you think you could give me some space?” Instead of “Dude, you’re super clingy and people are starting to ask what’s up. So just leave me alone for a bit.”
VERY DIFFERENT, PEOPLE. That’s my little tid-bit of the day.
Have a great evening! And remember to ask us as many questions as you would like :)
—jessica
Anonymous asked: What's the best way to stay INSIDE the friend zone?
Hi Anonymous:
I would suggest that if you are interested in staying in the friend zone that you make sure you establish boundaries within your relationship. Try to keep physical contact to a minimum, spend time in group settings if you are worried about leading someone on, avoid sexual innuendos or any comments that could be misconstrued as something more than friendship. In general just work at being a good friend treat them the same way you would all of your other friends and make that very obvious. If all else fails tell them that you really just want to be friends with them, honesty will go a very long way in maintaining any friendship.
Hope we helped,
—jessica and zoe
