Anonymous asked: I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. My boyfriend is east Indian while I'm white - although this hasn't put much pressure on our relationship before, we have recently started talking about getting married and his parents have made it clear that they would prefer if he married someone that shares in their traditions and beliefs. What do you think about interracial marriages?
Hello there!
Inter-racial marriages. My own personal dilemma. To me personally, inter-racial marriages are beneficial to society as a whole but can be detrimental to culture. Most likely your boyfriend’s parents are concerned that their culture and beliefs and values will fade away and I understand their concern, the last thing they want is for their grandchildren to not respect their culture or their beliefs and values.
At the same time, we live in a modern 21st century. It’s 2012. Inter-racial marriages happen. What I do suggest is that if you’re serious about this marriage deal, talk to your future in laws privately and lay everything out on the table. They may express concerns and worries they have. I like to think you’re at a good place when you say “they have made it clear that they would PREFER if he married someone that shares in their marriages and beliefs”. Good news? It’s not you as a person. Bad news? It’s your skin color. If you’re willing to add his culture and your culture together as a blended mix then tell them so. Ask them what they’re willing to let go of, compromise with them and see what they say.
If you two want to get married and are really seriously thinking about it, then I doubt his parents preference will be a make it or break it type deal. Ultimately it will be his decision but don’t let his parents pressure him into his own unhappiness.
I, myself, am stuck in that pickle as well. My parents don’t care about interracial marriages but they have said that the traditions I am used to? I will have to marry a Chinese man in order to get all of those. Which makes it hard sometimes. Do I choose traditions or the guy who will make me happy? Hopefully I get both but you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.
I hope that answered your question! If you have any further inquiries, you can always email us at everydaymahtors@gmail.com and we will be happy to answer any questions you might have. Mind you, to the best of our abilities and knowledge.
Good luck to you and your boyfriend! I hope things work out. It’s a tough decision but hopefully communication will play it’s part. If you do become engaged, congratulations! Zoe and I wish you a blissful life together :)
—jessica and zoe
