Anonymous asked: If you had already met "the one", what would be the youngest age at which you could see yourself getting married?
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said right freaking now but since you asked me today, I’d have to say not until I was 25 at the very least, given that I was good and ready. Which just goes to show you how much growing a person does in a year.
I learned that between the ages of 18 and 25, you learn so much. About everything. About school, life, yourself, what you want, where you want to go, how you deal with situations, or what situations you find yourself in. Things change so rapidly and while I’m always going to be a marrying woman, I can honestly say that I don’t want to settle down too quickly.
I’m ambitious. Always have been, always will be. I’m ambitious in the most subtle way. While I would like world domination (figuratively speaking), I know that my family, love and all those who are important to me come first. And yet, ultimately, the person who comes before all of that is myself.
I don’t even know what “The One” looks like. Or even what it feels like. Do fireworks magically blow up behind my eyes? Am I supposed to feel like I’m on fire? Should my senses just KNOW that this person is the one I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with? I don’t think anyone really knows right off the bat that this person is The One.
Anonymous asked: I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. My boyfriend is east Indian while I'm white - although this hasn't put much pressure on our relationship before, we have recently started talking about getting married and his parents have made it clear that they would prefer if he married someone that shares in their traditions and beliefs. What do you think about interracial marriages?
Inter-racial marriages. My own personal dilemma. To me personally, inter-racial marriages are beneficial to society as a whole but can be detrimental to culture. Most likely your boyfriend’s parents are concerned that their culture and beliefs and values will fade away and I understand their concern, the last thing they want is for their grandchildren to not respect their culture or their beliefs and values.
At the same time, we live in a modern 21st century. It’s 2012. Inter-racial marriages happen. What I do suggest is that if you’re serious about this marriage deal, talk to your future in laws privately and lay everything out on the table. They may express concerns and worries they have. I like to think you’re at a good place when you say “they have made it clear that they would PREFER if he married someone that shares in their marriages and beliefs”. Good news? It’s not you as a person. Bad news? It’s your skin color. If you’re willing to add his culture and your culture together as a blended mix then tell them so. Ask them what they’re willing to let go of, compromise with them and see what they say.
If you two want to get married and are really seriously thinking about it, then I doubt his parents preference will be a make it or break it type deal. Ultimately it will be his decision but don’t let his parents pressure him into his own unhappiness.
I, myself, am stuck in that pickle as well. My parents don’t care about interracial marriages but they have said that the traditions I am used to? I will have to marry a Chinese man in order to get all of those. Which makes it hard sometimes. Do I choose traditions or the guy who will make me happy? Hopefully I get both but you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.
I hope that answered your question! If you have any further inquiries, you can always email us at email@example.com and we will be happy to answer any questions you might have. Mind you, to the best of our abilities and knowledge.
Good luck to you and your boyfriend! I hope things work out. It’s a tough decision but hopefully communication will play it’s part. If you do become engaged, congratulations! Zoe and I wish you a blissful life together :)
—jessica and zoe
Anonymous asked: do you consider WM to be the one? can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life?
Excellent question, really. I’ve always been one to look ahead in my relationships. So even guys I’ve liked I’ve considered if they were “The One”. I can’t say any of them were. And I can’t say WM is either. We’ve been dating 4 months, it’s too early to think of long term commitment and it’s too early to figure out if he’s “The One”. Could he make me happy? Sure. Can I see us together? Yes. Is he “The One”? I doubt it. It would be very fairy-tale like for me to marry my first boyfriend. It would be wonderful and it would make me incredibly happy but at 18 how do we know what we want? How do I know what I want in a husband? I’m learning and he’s learning.
I was talking to my friend this morning. She recently broke up with my other good friend. It was mutual and they thought it was going to be a forever kind of love. It was his first relationship but not her’s. She brought up a good point. Experiencing other things and other people and figuring out what you want can be beneficial. As you age and grow, you change. And maybe they are no longer part of that change. Which is completely valid.
I’ve thought about him being “The One”. But honestly? I don’t think he’s it. He’s my right now, he’s my present and maybe my future.
Dating is all about what you want right now. It can lead to the future, it can lead to something more but it doesn’t always have to. It’s your present. Cherish right now and what you have. The future will be there. Don’t rush, have fun.
I hope that answered your question!
—jessica and zoe