From Me to You
Hello again everyone! I read Zoe’s post (isn’t she just hilarious? You like her right? Good. Because I like her too. She has a lovely writing style don’t you think? Refreshing no?) and I realized that she had done something that I hadn’t! She told you about herself. So here I am, about to tell you about myself. It won’t be anything special or spectacular but I can tell you it will be mighty laughable.
For a person with almost as much relationship experience as a (regular, normal) cat enjoys time in water, I seem to have a lot of good advice about many things. And I won’t beat around the bush. In other words, if you look at me and say
“Jessica, I really like this guy but I don’t know how to tell him”
I’ll probably say something along the lines of
“Well honey, you gotta just pull on them big girl (or boy) underwear, throw caution to the wind, march on over there and tell it to him straight. And don’t stutter. Because he’ll think you’re a fool.”
You might stand there slightly shocked that I told you that you might look like a fool, but let’s face it. You will. Everyone does. And everyone tries so hard to not look like a fool, that the end up looking like one anyways. So just, forget about it.
Anyways, while I do not have a whole slew of complexes and interesting SBF experiences like Zoe has, I do have some really radical experiences. Not many, but enough for me to hate life every now and then like everyone else.
So for future reference you might want to jot down that while at this day and age, I am a more confident and positive person, I wasn’t. Self-esteem issues were a really big concern for me and being oddly empathetic was another. So if at any point in time you have a problem where your day just doesn’t have that bright sunshine you’re looking for, feel free to shoot me a message or question. I would be glad to help.
Being oddly empathetic has it’s ups and downs. Most of the time, it’s a downfall. You’re too caring, too heartfelt. You’re a doormat and have very little self-preservation. Sometimes, it’s a blessing. You understand both sides of the situation and you can help others through some very interesting circumstances. So if there is that one thing in the world you need most right now, which is a friend, I’m your girl. I’ve also been told I’m wise beyond my years. Which makes no sense, because I make dirty jokes left, right and center.
For all of you boys out there who have absolutely no clue as to what in the heck that girl you have in your life is thinking, doing or saying. Or you just need some really great girl advice about what to get your boo for V-Day. I’m also your girl. I’m skilled enough that with my ideas and romanticism, I managed to help one of my buddies get laid. So, yes, hats off to me.
Family issues? Zoe and I got that down pat.
Also, if you’re having trouble with people who have problems with you NOT conforming, I’m your gal. I’m a non-drinker, non-smoker of anything and I rarely go out to clubs or bars. In fact I turned 18 in the summer and have yet to leave my house for a club/bar/pub. I’m abstaining a little bit. So! I’m your girl for those times when you really don’t wanna go out and your friends say that you’re the prude of the group. I’ve been a prude my entire life, welcome to the wonderful world of me :)
With that said, let’s start with the process of self-esteem. No, you’re not guaranteed to like yourself all day everyday. And if you do, you’re weird. Another thing to keep in mind: think of weirdness as intelligence or importance. Who has the right to tell you that you are unimportant or important? Only you do. No one on this planet has the right to tell you that you are worth anything less than what you think of yourself as. They of course could tell you that you’re extremely important, which is always a good thing. But don’t believe those people who tell you you are unimportant. Because at the end of the day….they be trippin’. For reals, yo. Good, you smiled. Or made a face. Or probably thought “damn this chick is off her rocker, she smacked her head REAL hard or university has officially made her crazy.” I’ll go with D) all of the above. Actually I did see a sign that said “SMACK HEAD HERE”. I was tempted to do it. But then I realized it was attached to a giant metal sign and the pole was directly down the middle. I thought against it after that. Back to the topic at hand, self-esteem takes a long time to build up. It’s like trust. You take years and years to like yourself, and it takes a millisecond for all of that to come crashing down around you.
I live by the saying “why fix something that isn’t broken?”. So don’t find things to fix. Constructive criticism is helpful, wbut destructive criticism is not. So if you want someone to fix something, start with something positive and then slowly transition into negatives. Such as “Hey Steve, I really like that you care a lot but I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little clingy lately. Do you think you could give me some space?” Instead of “Dude, you’re super clingy and people are starting to ask what’s up. So just leave me alone for a bit.”
VERY DIFFERENT, PEOPLE. That’s my little tid-bit of the day.
Have a great evening! And remember to ask us as many questions as you would like :)
—jessica
